There are people out there who seem to find it extremely difficult — impossible even — to stick to anything for longer in their life, even though they’re rather openly talking about their wish to get settled. The last thing you could accuse them of is being passive: they go above and beyond to prove (to themselves and to the world) how active they are. They want to live to the fullest, try everything. Those are not people who don’t know what they want. No, they dream big and aim high! And yet, somehow they keep ending up utterly miserable. Why?
Contrary to popular belief, no matter how amazing it sounds on paper, having a lot of different choices is not necessarily good for us. It’s the abundance of possibilities, together with this artificial pressure to achieve and succeed, that paralyses us. I can bet this is one of the main reasons for young people’s mental health struggles these days. We either end up committing to way too many things at once and drain ourselves instantly, or can never decide on anything and get stuck in the limbo, which often leads to severe anxiety or depression (or both).
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a lot from life, with dreaming big and aiming high. It’s broadly encouraged and highly valued (whether it actually should is another debate). Sure thing we have a lot more opportunities than our parents ever had and by all means we should take advantage of that. But no matter what ads and coaches try to tell you, don’t let them get you fooled: no, you cannot have everything. Especially not at once. It’s often like wanting a quiet house by the lake right in the middle of the city centre: impossible. To avoid chronic disappointment and frustration, you have to be reasonable about this. You have to recognise what’s actually possible and what’s not. You have to learn making your own choices and living with their consequences. You have to recognise the responsibility and be ready to commit.
Yeah, I know what you may be thinking: commitment and responsibility? We don’t want that! This is what limits us, puts us in boxes, kills creativity, withholds our potential, makes us old and boring! Well, if there is one thing I have learnt about commitment and responsibility over the past few years, is that they’re the exact opposite of what I always assumed them to be. They are the ones giving you this longed-for freedom. They are the source of that inner strength and life satisfaction you have always craved. It may sound ridiculous to you now, but give it a whirl and you’ll see. Responsibly and consciously made commitment really can be the best thing that have ever happened to you. I vouch for this.
There are things in life that depend on other people or external circumstances. There is a lot you will never be able to change, no matter how much you wish you could. But it doesn’t mean you should give up altogether and let things unfold on their own, hell no! It doesn’t mean you don’t have control over your life: even within those external limits you still have a responsibility for yourself, your choices, reactions and actions. Recognising and accepting this is the key to a more peaceful mind. And a peaceful mind is capable of truly magnificent things.
