My first favourite song by Cage the Elephant (which ultimately got me into them) was Always Something. Its chorus goes: “it’s always something, before the late night, around the corner, there’s always something waiting for you, can’t hold the hands back, can’t make the sun rise, it’s always something, you know it’s always something”. I listened to it recently and discovered I interpret it very differently now.
A few years back, a very good friend of mine told me I should change my negative attitude, because this is what invites misery into my life. I obviously didn’t like it: can’t be bothered actually checking, but I’m pretty sure I wrote some annoyed journal entry about it. Now, from perspective, I nod understandably, thinking “damn it, he was so right!”. Because now that I’m out of it, I can see I indeed was negative (especially about myself) and I was willingly and actively (though of course not consciously!) inviting negativity into my life. It was always in a form of an innocent joke about my eternal bad luck. Anything undesirable ever happening, anything negative, was always to do with my bad luck. I was doomed.
Only it wasn’t a bad luck that doomed me: I doomed myself.
I’ve always been a strong believer in activity. I absolutely loathe passivity. With time I realised that this active-versus-passive is a distinction surprisingly broad and not so easy to explain. The activity, as I understand it now, has loads to with responsibility and self-awareness. With taking care of (and control over) your own thoughts, words, actions, reactions and emotions. With actively and consciously living your life, not letting it move past you. And, needless to say, I consider myself active. Or at least striving to stay active. That concept was at the core of my belief that I have my life all figured out: I just need to stay active.
Turned out that being self-aware and active was not merely enough. There was this inner attitude that was holding me back. The big bad world was always so inexplicably hostile to me, people were being awful for no reason, and why do I always have to have such a bad luck!? What’s the point of trying to be active, when the world craps at you (daily!) anyway?
Well, the world is going to keep throwing things at me (and you, and everyone else). As long as the earth keeps orbiting the sun, shit will happen. Life will be difficult, terrible and beautiful all at once. So yes, there’s always something.
But the perception of that something is up to you.
There always will be something preventing you from acting and enjoying your life, in the same way as there always will be something that you can be grateful about. Whatever your brain has been trained to look for, it’s always going to find it: in any situation, anywhere and anytime. It’s a very simple but strong habit. Which, with the right effort, can be changed.
Over the past five years, I’ve realised that positive attitude and hope should never be underestimated. There are actual studies proving that people with more positive outlook on life and themselves, are living significantly better. That is not to say that this newly arisen pressure for positivity at all cost is acceptable, because it’s not. You’re not supposed to be positive and hopeful all the time, that would be disastrous in the long run (and extremely annoying to everyone around you). It’s all about the skill of looking for some positive in every situation when necessary. Skill that you can use to divert your mind when it turns onto path to self-destruction.
So yes, there’s always going to be something around the corner, waiting for you. And you can keep getting angry about it, or try tackling it to the best of your abilities, with slightly less negative attitude each time.
Learn the skill, it really makes life easier.
